With all the hubbub about graduation and the decisions that accompany the all-important milestone, I've been thinking about all my past experiences in "the real world" and about "growing up". How fast are people expected to mature? How fast should people mature?
First of all, I guess I should define this "growing up" or "maturing". Or can I do such a thing? There are so many definitions or events that have been associated with this rite of passage. The definition provided by the dictionary doesn't seem to be quite complete: "to be or become fully grown; attain mental or physical maturity." I suppose responsibility comes with growing up - I don't think that would go against the majority. Perhaps, maturing might also involve living away from home? Being in a serious relationship? Getting married? What about work-related events? Getting a full-time job? Or even getting a Master's degree or PhD? I guess there are too many variables. Let's just assume that growing up is the acquisition of further responsibility, both financial and social. Perhaps maturing also involves gaining more wisdom or knowledge in a general sense, developing a more conscientious way of thinking and compassion for others.
Now that we have a semi-decent definition, I think everyone has different opinions about when the expected date for "growing up" is. I'm sure culture has a lot of influence - for example, Asian people may view ages from 21 to 25 as the proper time for kids to start maturing. Americans have shown that they expect kids to grow up right after high school - by this, I'm referring to the number of kids that get "kicked out of the house" after a certain age. Otherwise, if culture isn't a huge factor, then perhaps history or statistical trends? We've all read the books - way back in the day, people married at an earlier age (say, 15) and had children much earlier than the average person today. I suppose that gives us an answer - culture does play a big role. We all know that the average person gets married later now, compared to the average person 50 years ago. That's part of our culture, shifting to a more individualistic focus - we want to achieve more for ourselves before we commit ourselves to starting a new family. Alright, so let's say the common expected age for "growing up" would be 25 (between a couples of milestones - namely graduating from high school and getting married).
That being said, a person who is 25 years of age should be mature. By that stage in life, they have potentially completed an undergraduate degree and are either working towards a graduate degree or working full-time. Even if they haven't followed those paths through life, that person would have been through experiences that required some level of individual responsibility, either in the form of academics or finance, or both. Our definition of maturing included getting "kicked out of the house", but a person who is 25 could still be living at home. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Does that negate the "growing up" that the person has done?
I guess our partial definition isn't really sufficient. Does a grown-up person have to live on their own? How about comparing a person who regularly exercises at the age of 25 compared to a person who plays online games, assuming everything else they have achieved in their lives is the same (e.g. they both live on their own). Is the exercise guru more grown up than the role player? Do hobbies count towards maturity?
Here's where I've been spending my thoughts. How grown-up does one have to act in order to be considered mature? Okay, so "act" may not be the most correct way of putting it. A better way of phrasing it may be... at what times are a person judged for maturity? Correct responses: in the workplace, in a serious environment. And then, outside those places? Is it ever appropriate to harness your inner child? The expression goes something like - you're only as old as you feel. What if you're actually 50 and you feel like you're 15? Isn't that good? But then how do you act around other people? Do you talk in high school slang? No, probably not. How would you maintain your mental age? You would certainly still have 50-year-old responsibilities, like taking care of bills and perhaps taking care of your family. You would have to make decisions, and I'm pretty sure the people around you would not appreciate decisions made from a 15-year-old's perspective.
So, how do you remain young? Keeping in touch with your childhood friends might be one way to do it. But then, they have to "grow up" someday too, and so do you - which then puts you back at square one. As a group, you can no longer do the activities you used to do without attracting a lot of strange attention. If you look a certain age, society expects you to act that age. Perhaps you can live vicariously through a kid who is on par with your mental age. You can sneakily act your mental age around those kids, and they wouldn't think anything of it - they might actually think you were one of those cool adults who "get" kids. This would probably work best with your own kids, I imagine. Is that it? No other outlets for your inner child?
I guess I'm worried that once I'm in "the real world", I'll lose my inner child and the joy that comes from tapping into that mental state. Even now, there are very few who understand me and who share this point of view. This is not to say that I don't love the process of maturing - I do. I love all the responsibilities, and the challenge of tackling everything that comes my way. I'm looking forward to more responsibilities in the future - like taking care of a family and all that comes with it. I'm just wishing for the best of everything - I suppose I should... there's another expression that comes to mind now... something along the lines of those who achieve big things can because they've dreamt of even bigger things?
Ah well, my memory fails me (ack, I'm getting older)! I guess it's getting rather late - it's past 4 in the morning now... what am I still doing awake? Goodnight!
First of all, I guess I should define this "growing up" or "maturing". Or can I do such a thing? There are so many definitions or events that have been associated with this rite of passage. The definition provided by the dictionary doesn't seem to be quite complete: "to be or become fully grown; attain mental or physical maturity." I suppose responsibility comes with growing up - I don't think that would go against the majority. Perhaps, maturing might also involve living away from home? Being in a serious relationship? Getting married? What about work-related events? Getting a full-time job? Or even getting a Master's degree or PhD? I guess there are too many variables. Let's just assume that growing up is the acquisition of further responsibility, both financial and social. Perhaps maturing also involves gaining more wisdom or knowledge in a general sense, developing a more conscientious way of thinking and compassion for others.
Now that we have a semi-decent definition, I think everyone has different opinions about when the expected date for "growing up" is. I'm sure culture has a lot of influence - for example, Asian people may view ages from 21 to 25 as the proper time for kids to start maturing. Americans have shown that they expect kids to grow up right after high school - by this, I'm referring to the number of kids that get "kicked out of the house" after a certain age. Otherwise, if culture isn't a huge factor, then perhaps history or statistical trends? We've all read the books - way back in the day, people married at an earlier age (say, 15) and had children much earlier than the average person today. I suppose that gives us an answer - culture does play a big role. We all know that the average person gets married later now, compared to the average person 50 years ago. That's part of our culture, shifting to a more individualistic focus - we want to achieve more for ourselves before we commit ourselves to starting a new family. Alright, so let's say the common expected age for "growing up" would be 25 (between a couples of milestones - namely graduating from high school and getting married).
That being said, a person who is 25 years of age should be mature. By that stage in life, they have potentially completed an undergraduate degree and are either working towards a graduate degree or working full-time. Even if they haven't followed those paths through life, that person would have been through experiences that required some level of individual responsibility, either in the form of academics or finance, or both. Our definition of maturing included getting "kicked out of the house", but a person who is 25 could still be living at home. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Does that negate the "growing up" that the person has done?
I guess our partial definition isn't really sufficient. Does a grown-up person have to live on their own? How about comparing a person who regularly exercises at the age of 25 compared to a person who plays online games, assuming everything else they have achieved in their lives is the same (e.g. they both live on their own). Is the exercise guru more grown up than the role player? Do hobbies count towards maturity?
Here's where I've been spending my thoughts. How grown-up does one have to act in order to be considered mature? Okay, so "act" may not be the most correct way of putting it. A better way of phrasing it may be... at what times are a person judged for maturity? Correct responses: in the workplace, in a serious environment. And then, outside those places? Is it ever appropriate to harness your inner child? The expression goes something like - you're only as old as you feel. What if you're actually 50 and you feel like you're 15? Isn't that good? But then how do you act around other people? Do you talk in high school slang? No, probably not. How would you maintain your mental age? You would certainly still have 50-year-old responsibilities, like taking care of bills and perhaps taking care of your family. You would have to make decisions, and I'm pretty sure the people around you would not appreciate decisions made from a 15-year-old's perspective.
So, how do you remain young? Keeping in touch with your childhood friends might be one way to do it. But then, they have to "grow up" someday too, and so do you - which then puts you back at square one. As a group, you can no longer do the activities you used to do without attracting a lot of strange attention. If you look a certain age, society expects you to act that age. Perhaps you can live vicariously through a kid who is on par with your mental age. You can sneakily act your mental age around those kids, and they wouldn't think anything of it - they might actually think you were one of those cool adults who "get" kids. This would probably work best with your own kids, I imagine. Is that it? No other outlets for your inner child?
I guess I'm worried that once I'm in "the real world", I'll lose my inner child and the joy that comes from tapping into that mental state. Even now, there are very few who understand me and who share this point of view. This is not to say that I don't love the process of maturing - I do. I love all the responsibilities, and the challenge of tackling everything that comes my way. I'm looking forward to more responsibilities in the future - like taking care of a family and all that comes with it. I'm just wishing for the best of everything - I suppose I should... there's another expression that comes to mind now... something along the lines of those who achieve big things can because they've dreamt of even bigger things?
Ah well, my memory fails me (ack, I'm getting older)! I guess it's getting rather late - it's past 4 in the morning now... what am I still doing awake? Goodnight!
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